She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
