This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
as a side note pls kill me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
