What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
