She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
