Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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