Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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