just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
