once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
