It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
