i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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