Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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