I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Can I color on your dick again?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
