Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
