i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
