Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
