Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
