I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
