we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
