In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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