Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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