i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
