I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
