11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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