In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
