it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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