I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
