if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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