I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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