halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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