Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
