this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
