we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Pants are for mortals
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
