I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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