your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
