Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
