Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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