If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
