Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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