I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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