Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My bed smells like the plague
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
