you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
