I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
