i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
