Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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