I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just found a bag of teeth...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
