my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
