God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
