I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
