if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
