i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
