I wish I could teleport
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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