There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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